Longer Dialogues
Engage with people when the microaggression occurs. Force them to articulate what they often don't want to articulate, perhaps because it reveals bias.
- Mirror their words
- “You’re really smart for being a woman.” - “I’m really smart for being a woman?”
- What do you mean by "they don't seem like a good fit"? Tell me more.
- I want to offer you some feedback if you're open to it
- That didn't land the way it was intended
- Can we talk about how to do that differently in the future?
- If you’re willing we can have a conversation about why that is actually a microaggression as opposed to a compliment which is how I think you meant it?
- Can you help me understand your perspective?
- Then follow up with an "I" statement
- Comment on the reaction in the room
- Hmmm… [repeat the statement]... what do you mean?
- Depending on what is said it may be worth letting them know that they are creating a hostile work environment by talking or acting the way they are
Nonverbal
Allow the comment to hang in the air while you stare at them can be effective in certain contexts. Sometimes that is all someone needs to realize they have been inappropriate.